In 28 days, I will be 29 years of age. It seems like yesterday I was 25, pokin' fun at Trish cause she had turned 30...and now I'm eatin' my words. It DOES feel weird. She told me that I'd be feeling weird when I'd get close to 30 but I told her off and called her psycho.

Man. She was right.

But you know what? I'm not gonna let it get to me. I mean, being 29 [and single] isn't all that bad. I mean, I'm not bad looking. I'm not overweight. I'm not gonna CRY because I'm nearing 30 [like Trish did]. It just feels weird. But I swear, if my big brother gives me a call and tells me I'm gettin' close to that old maid stage, I will hop on a bird to Chicago and attempt to beat his ass.

THIS weirdness has made me want to try out new things. Attempt to overcome my fears. Learning how to swim for instance. I have no friggen clue how to swim [yet].

It all goes back to Hawaii. I was with my sister in a pool at a waterpark. I was about 6 or 7 years old, in 5 ft of water, holding on to the side of the pool when my older sister says, "Hey Emmalyn, can you do this?" I watched her let go of the side of the wall, she spins around and grips back on to the wall. Now, mind you, she's a lot taller than me. "Come on, try it!" So I did.

I spun alright. I spun, couldn't grip back onto the wall, lost my balance, became disoriented, and found myself flailing, choking, attempting to call for help.

I could hear her distinct laugh. She picked me up outta the water, and she was still laughing. If I hadn't been puking up water, and a lot smaller than her, I woulda punched her lights out. Now that I think about it, I swear she was trying to kill me and make it look like an accident.

Ever since this incident, I've been afraid of pools, and the ocean [which sucked because I lived in Hawaii for 10 years]. Don't get me wrong, I love the water, it's so beautiful...I'd just like to jump in a pool and swim some laps, or even jump in the ocean opposed to sitting on a sandbar while I watch everyone else swim around. I've tried to overcome my fears, too.

A couple years ago, a friend of mine took me out on his boat, waaay out...There were probably five of us out there [everyone but me knew how to swim]. We were out there specifically for me. I wanted to feel what it would be like to be floating in the ocean. One by one, they all plopped into the water and there I was, with my floatation device on. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" They asked. "Yup."

I climbed down the ladder, and held on to my friend. I asked him to let go, and they all formed a circle around me. "What the hell are these things floating around me?"

"Oh, don't worry Em, those are just baby jellies." Okay, there was strike one.

I took a deep breath and for some reason, doing that made my body float a certain way. I panicked because I didn't know how to control it. My friends then told me what to do, but that was strike two.

Then, I started to move my feet. I shouldn't have done that as it felt weird. "Hey, how far down is it?" I asked.

"We're not tellin'." Then I let my imagination get the best of me. I was done for the day.

Another time I tried to become one with the water...My friend's husband Dave tried to teach me to swim in their pool. It was one of those above the ground pools, a basic pool standing 5 ft of water. He tried to get me to 'relax' in the pool. He asked me to lay back onto his arms. I tried. I panicked. I backhanded him in the face, giving him a partial black eye, and a bloody nose.

So anyway, yeah. I'd like to learn how to swim. Anyone wanna teach me? Any takers? I promise I won't hurt you.

I guess I'll leave it up to the professionals.

There are a lot more things I'd like to try out before I become old and fragile. But, I think I'll start with this.