As I sat on the plane staring down the isle, I thought bout my friend Dan and the story he told me of how he met his wife…I like the story, and wish something like that would happen to me. He basically got up the nerve to ask her out after seeing her around for sometime. While on my mini holiday with my best friend Catherine, I told her about it.

"Why the [insert explicative here] can't that happen to me?"

"Because you talk like that and you always have this don’t fuck with me look on your face."

I can’t help the 'don’t fuck with me look.' We were at our favorite restaurant when she says to me,

"See you have a pissed off look on your face just looking at the menu."

I can't help it. I got it from always being pissed off at my dad. It’s become a permanent scowl. Me, my older brother and sister have it. My sister’s got it worse. But wait, she's married.

"You should just have a permanent smile on your face. Your smile is noticeable. I like when you smile. Your teeth are big like Mr. Ed the horse."

I start laugh. Hard. Even though I’m self conscious about my teeth [thanks to comments like that], I still can laugh at myself.

"Now, just think about how I think you look like Mr. Ed and watch, Mr. Right will be at your door in no time...

...that and maybe you should think about investing in huge knockers."

Geez, I miss Catherine. The stupid bitch.

I'm back from my mini holiday. It sucks to be back, especially knowing that my brother is in Hawaii as I type this. I miss my friends, I miss Bing, I miss my momma.

Alright, I'm going. I'll stop being a whiny bitch now.

Ugh.